When I was creating this website, I was very thoughtful about every little detail. I wanted to make sure that each element served a specific purpose and gave way to make a connection between me and you. As a writer, journaling has always been my therapy. Journaling is where I open up the most, write out my dilemmas when things just don’t make sense, where I create, where I am most vulnerable, and can be completely me without judgment.
When I decided I wanted to add a blog to this site I purposefully labeled it, My Journal because I decided I am going to show myself in ways that frighten me. I want you to know me, to see my humanity and how difficult it can be sometimes to balance being a mother, wife, MBA student with a full-time job while also trying to maintain myself as a writer, creator, and entrepreneur. It is not easy, not even a little bit. I cry multiple times a week. I have to pray my way through most days. Victory for me sometimes just looks like waking up and getting out of the bed. It’s crazy.
What’s interesting about this particular season I’m in is I have been experiencing loss on so many different levels, more than I will disclose in this post (but I promise I will reveal them at some point). This journey is tough, but it is my faith that keeps me moving forward. Honestly, it feels like since I’ve proclaimed myself as a Faith Ambassador (FAM) that God has been testing my proclamation. I will not lie, some days I have only a mustard seed of faith, but Lord knows it is that little bit of faith that keeps me.
Being a Faith Ambassador (FAM) is not just about me saying I have faith, but it is me showing the world that I live my life on that Faith. I make crazy leaps of faith in my business when God tells me to move, I move even when it doesn’t make sense to anyone else. I live my life on the edge of the natural and the spiritual because I trust that God will always make a way. It also means that I have a high level of expectation in God to do what He says He will do. However, He is God and moves on His own time, so sometimes I can be all in my flesh; I am human, I get weak, I get upset, and I cry, a lot but I always pull myself together and put it back on God, that’s faith. I want this journal to be a witness to how having faith in God changes things, makes things happen, and defies natural odds.
I want you to be a Faith Ambassador (FAM) too. Thank you for coming on this journey with me I am opening up my journal to you and I promise you full transparency.
P.S. Please don’t judge me.