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Loved
Like many other’s 2020 has been a challenging year to say the least. Besides not finding a home yet the tornado called 2020 wiped through my life leaving destruction all over the place. What did I do to avoid the winds? I started working more and driving. Henry and I will put the kids in their seats and just drive. Driving has become so therapeutic and it allows us to just talk and catch up on each other’s day and sing with the kids and watch the sunset. It is one of the great things that came out of living with other people, finding creative ways that don’t cost any money to spend time together and just be.
The kids really enjoy this time too. I think they enjoy it a little too much. My son is three, but he will keep a conversation going. Lord knows he will Mommy me to death. He is honestly the coolest little kid though – I’m not just saying that because he’s my son either. Harlei, she likes to sing. Today she just kept singing and singing and Jay was like, “Harlei, be quiet.” She ignored him and kept singing, until the both of them were driving me crazy between the singing and chanting “be quiets.” Henry is the laid back one, the car could catch on fire and he’d just be like, “Ok, everybody let’s get out.” I on the other hand would be throwing kids out the car and darting down the highway before he even got his seatbelt off. He is funny, but he is my balance, God knows he is the only person who can calm me down. I love my kids. I love Henry. I know I’m supposed to say that because they are my family, but I really do love them with my whole soul. They ground me and make life beautiful when I’m not sure how I will get through the day.
I know this more now than I ever did before because about a month ago I had a miscarriage. I honestly can’t describe what that did to me without breaking down. As I pause writing this, I will just say I love my children and my husband deeper now, more than I thought I could love. I wish that l didn’t have to find that love and appreciation I have for them this way, but however it happened, it did, and I am so thankful for them – no words I write could express it.
Today, I was delivered a really beautiful bouquet of flowers. They kind of stopped me in my tracks because I haven’t had flowers delivered to me in a long time. My first thought was they were from Henry but when I read the card, I was surprised to see they were from my Aunt. The card said, “We love you and we support you.” That’s it. Those seven words wrapped around me like a warm hug because in the midst of my busy day of work and home daycare I get to push away real haunting experiences. I get to focus on my purpose, being a mom a wife, and everything else. But that card and flowers said to me, we love you, we got your back from way down south. I am honestly very blessed. I have so much family that cares about me and supports me, I am truly loved, and it is that love that I have for my family and that they have for me that gets me through each day. I pray that deep love for you too!