Aside from the house hunting that I love so much while being mommy, wife, MBA student, and working full time I am also a writer…and am currently trying to start another business. My mother says I have too much on my plate. My husband says I need to rest (I do). That was made clear to me today when I had a few hours to myself and my plan was to do my exam and write the 30-pages to this book I have to submit by September 8th. That was my plan, but I fell asleep, and when I woke up those few hours had somehow fleeted away.
Here’s the thing. I am my best self when I’m busy. If I don’t have projects that I’m working on for some reason I feel like I’m wasting my life. I have always had this sense of urgency like time is running out. No matter how much I’ve accomplished it never feels like enough. I have journals and journals of ideas that one day I’d like to see come to fruition and if I’m not working on making that happen, then what? My time for dreaming is over. Literal dreams actually annoy me. When I’m asleep, I do not want to be bothered with dreams, this is my only time of peace and quiet. Well, depending on the type of night the kids are having.
Don’t get me wrong, I spend my fair share of time with my family and watching my favorite shows (usually late at night) but if I do that for too long, I start to feel guilty. I try to adhere to a certain amount of balance to make everything work. If that scale starts to tip too far to either side, everyone close to me knows about it because I am usually on edge, very short-tempered, and quickly agitated. So, for the sake of everyone I love, I try to pay close attention to how much time I’m putting on every aspect of my life.
Today was a really good day of balance (even with the long nap). Which by the way only happened because I have the most wonderful mother who is always concerned about me and took the babies for the night. Now it is still early, I am able to complete my blog, go take my exam and hopefully start working on the 30 pages of my new book. My husband is even getting some rest, which is why I can plan all this writing time by the way. It’s funny though, even in my downtime when I could be somewhere with my feet kicked up, instead I look at it as the perfect opportunity to occupy myself with getting some writing done and schoolwork which by the way isn’t due until Tuesday. One of my favorite quotes that I try to model my life by is, “why do tomorrow what you can do today?” For me, working hard and accomplishing goals is not just rewarding it also makes life so much more interesting – don’t you think?