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Transformation
I cut my hair. Every couple of years I usually cut it as a part of some change I’m making in my life. This time I just needed something easy. My hair is thick, shoulder-length, and natural. Nothing about it is easy. My go-to hairstyle is a ponytail or a bun, but lately, I haven’t even felt like doing that, that’s why I decided to cut it.
This is the hundredth time I’ve cut my hair, but this is the first time I don’t feel good about it. Don’t get me wrong the cut is nice, but for some reason, I just feel sad. I keep telling myself that I’m ok, it will grow back, not to be upset but it’s not working. I wish I could go back in time and change my mind. When I went to the hairdresser, I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that I was going to go through with it, but I couldn’t think of anything else to do. I’ve been so caught up with school and work and kids and life that adding my hair to the equation was just adding stress, but now that I don’t have it, I’ve added stress.
My son is so sweet, he said, “I like your hair mommy,” and I’m happy he does, I just wish I liked my hair. The problem is I had her cut it too short. When she first cut it, it was perfect but then I told her to take it down more, and now, it’s too low. I know it’s only hair and it will grow back but for some reason, it’s really bugging me. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve always had some deep, meaningful reason for chopping it down, and this time I don’t. Or, maybe there is a deep reason that I haven’t figured out yet. There has to be something going on if I’m feeling like this.
If I look at what’s going on in my life, I’m at the halfway mark in school, we will be moving in two weeks, my son just started pre-school, and I’ve started a new book that I’ve recently submitted to a publisher – maybe I am in a transition. Maybe, subconsciously my spirit knows I’m transitioning into a new phase in my life and me cutting my hair is a symbol of that change. If that’s the case I pray that the cutting off of the old will produces an overflow. I pray that this new growth opens doors of opportunity that I could never hope for or imagine. I am due for a transformation and since I didn’t plan this one, I say that this was the Lords doing and it will be marvelous in his sight. At least I hope so.